Being active in the lifestyle has given me several opportunities to see how other people handle themselves and their interactions with other swingers. I have a pretty clear idea about how I see things and I try to understand the viewpoints of others, but they don’t always align. I also try not to assume that my way is the best way to see or do things, but honestly, it’s hard not to feel that way. I’m planning to record a lot in the near future and will address some key issues.
- couple privilege – I did address this a bit before, but I feel it definitely warrants more time.
- treatment of singles in the lifestyle – males vs females This issue has been particularly thought provoking for me recently.
- transparency in the lifestyle – I recently had a really uncomfortable interaction with a single male who turned out to be a married guy sneaking around on his wife. eeew
- failure to respect other couples’ boundaries/structure – there have been a couple of events that made me notice that people can be self-centered (self meaning the couple as a unit). This may fall under couple privilege.
- playing solo when part of an established couple – Mr. Saturday and I are officially together, but we are both polyamorous and date / play independently. The reception from people is notably different for him that it is for me, but it’s also different for each of us from times when we identified as “single”.
- Homophobia in the lifestyle – I have had a few interactions recently that have seemed pretty insensitive, imbalanced and biased. This is a weird subject because it’s usually geared at bisexual men in the lifestyle and not at women. This can get much deeper when you begin to consider pan / poly / genderqueer folks too. It is quite possibly something that changes regionally as well.
- I got shot down when I recently inquired about attending a lifestyle event as a single female. It turned out to be a very couple-centric event and that included MF couples and FF couples – but clearly not MM couples. Events that cater to one group over another seem like could be handled in a more sensitive way and I want to spend some time thinking about whether or not I have a viable solution to offer here.
Please leave me a voicemail or a comment if you like. I love to get input and ideas from listeners.